Master Funduk

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MASTER FUNDUK:

In his first affidavit the Plaintiff exhibits a 10 page list of chattels he says were destroyed. The list ranges from "pencils, cancelled cheques, bank statements", one bar of soap, one tooth brush, one tube of tooth paste, one hair brush, after shave lotion, cologne, deodorant and up, including 80-100 Playboy magazines. The Plaintiff says that the lost chattels consisted of half a lifetime of gathering from garage sales, sports stores, auction sales and an inheritance from his father.

It must have been a very large trailer.

---Montgomery v. Canada West Insurance Co. [1996] A.J. No. 820

The Plaintiff says that he had difficulty understanding Ng because Ng allegedly has an accent. The contract, the policy, is in English. The contract does not have an accent. Condition 14 is in English. It does not have an accent. People have accents. The English language does not.

---Montgomery v. Canada West Insurance Co. [1996] A.J. No. 820

I would point out to this witness and his counsel that the Court can read.

---Central Trust Co. v. Milchem

The Sheriff is not responsible for the mental impotence of parties.

---Finning Tractor v. Twin City Equip. (1985) 64 A.R. 280

If it looks very much like a duck, walks very much like a duck and quacks very much like a duck there is a high probability it may well be a duck.

---General Motors Acceptance Corp. of Canada, Ltd. v. Trans Canada Credit Corp., [1994] A.J. No. 20

If Mr. Powell was to himself remove his inflamed appendicle he can do so but he will botch the job. If he wants to drill and fill his aching tooth he can do so but he will botch the job. If he wants to act for himself in this lawsuit he can do so but he will botch the job. He has.

---Alberta Treasury Branch v. Powell, 31 March 1998

For example, a newspaper publishes the true fact that a well known public figure was born illegitimate. The bastard may be mentally aggrieved by the dissemination of that information. However, he has no cause of action.

---Turton v. Butler and Toronto Sun (1987) 85 A.R. 193 at 195

I do not overrule decisions of a judge of this Court. The judicial pecking order does not permit little peckers to overrule big peckers. It is the other way around.

--- South Side Woodwork (1979) Ltd. v. R.C. Contracting Ltd. (1989) 95 A.R. 161

I am not bound by erroneous views of the law by other Masters.

---American S&L v. Stechisin (1993) 146 A.R. 120, at 125

I do not agree that because Rhodes was decided 12 years ago its quality has somehow eroded. I am not aware of a principle of law that judgments of the highest court of this province are to be aged like accounts receivable and their precedential value is to be decreased in direct proportion to their age. Anyway, it can be forcefully argued that judgments of the Court of Appeal are like a good wine and improve with age.

---Buchanan v. Wassef (1993) 140 A.R. 313

I am not a cloistered monk. I know only too well what is being done by many of these private corporations. The Court was not born yesterday.
--- Mahaffey v. Riopel, 23 Sept. 1988, Docket # 8812000745

The Court does not live in a vacuum. Race horses are like professional athletes. Exercise alone is not sufficient. You can't sit on the sidelines. You have to get in and play the game. The longer a professional athlete sits on the sidelines the less his value becomes. The evidence of the experts leads to the same conclusion. (Unlike over the hill professional athletes these horses won't be able to get coaching jobs).

---Khan and Boni v. Hazemi, [1991] A.J. No. 305

Anybody who lends money to Ms. Morrow is a masochist. They will not get it back easily, if at all.

---Provincial Mortgage Service Corp. v. Wavel Ventures Corp. [1995] A.J. No. 880

The suggested pleading lacks a touchstone to reality. To say that card issuers should monitor the cardholders use of the card (spending habits) because that might show that lunacy has popped up is an Alice in Wonderland argument. (If that argument was accepted card issuers would have to constantly monitor me because of my erratic use of charge cards). . . I doubt that the Plaintiff's computers are programmed to flash "lunatic, lunatic, lunatic" for any cardholder that has been programmed into the computer.

---Royal Bank of Canada v. Unick [1994] A.J. No. 362

If A sues B in debt, can B defend on the basis that A is indebted to C? Any member of the Law Society who has difficulty answering that question correctly is in immediate need of remedial education. Third, it is elementary law that a shareholder and the corporation of which he is a shareholder are each persons in law. Each is a separate person in law. Any member of the Law Society who does not know that should join his brother in the preceding paragraph. No counsel should draft a pleading without reading the appropriate rules on pleadings each time before they draft the pleading. There is a lot of truth in the saying that good counsel work is 99% perspiration. Too often the perspiration only starts when counsel start running into difficulties in the courtroom.

---Karam v. Cosentino, 5 Feb. 1993, Edm. No. 9203 10190

The bankrupt assigned himself into bankruptcy a second time on September 7, 1999. His proved unsecured creditors are $93,904.00. . . This is another example of the spiralling use of the B.I.A. by financially irresponsible bankrupts who have not learned anything from their first bankruptcy, except possibly that a formal bankruptcy is a golden mecca for borrowing and buying and not having to pay.

---Re Lloyd [2000] A.J. No. 863

A former justice of the Supreme Court of the United States once said that although it might be difficult to define obscenity he knew it when he saw it. I know an obscene lawsuit when I see it . . . People who attempt frauds try to bluff their way out when the fraud is discovered. Anyone who could have the slightest doubt about that has an intelligence quotient lower than their age. How the Plaintiff thought that he could get away with that attempted fraud entirely escapes me . . . The Plaintiff's unstated position is that this was a conspiracy to "get him". This is nonsense . . . Any Master or judge who would seriously entertain that should immediately resign from the Bench.

---Prefontaine v. Veale [2000] A.J. No. 1020